Monday, May 25, 2015

How to date older men

Feeling attracted to someone is generally something a person cannot control. Chemistry happens no matter how old the people involved may be. However, there seems to be a stigma attached to couples with an age difference. Many people believe age gap relationships are less likely to last although the opposite is actually true, according to the Psychology Today article, “The May-December Couple.” Age is only a number and should not be an issue in a happy and healthy relationship. However, there are a few things to think about before you start dating older men.
Step 1 Act your age. You may feel compelled to alter your behavior lest you come across as immature. The person you are dating is interested in you despite the age gap, so embrace the differences. While it is not advisable to act overly immature or childish, being yourself will make you more comfortable and happier in the end.
Step 2 Understand the person you are dating will have more experience with love and relationships. If this is your first serious relationship, you may feel intimidated by his or her past. The person may have been married and have children. Do not compare your experiences, as this will only highlight the age gap. Instead, understand your differences and accept that you can learn something from each other. The only thing that should matter in a relationship is the experience you share as a couple.
Step 3 Realize that the subject of children may become an issue at some point. If your partner has children, he or she may not want any more or age may mean he or she is incapable of having them. While this may not be a problem in the first flush of a new relationship, it could become a bigger issue as the relationship progresses. Of course, the problem may be that the other person wants children and you are not ready. Your partner may want children before growing too old to enjoy them or to have a safe pregnancy. If you are at opposite ends when the subject of children arises, you may have to accept that your relationship will only be short-term.
Step 4Understand that not everyone will be supportive of your relationship. Your partner’s family, especially any children he or she may have, may be wary of your motives. This is a two-way street as you may find your friends questioning what you are doing with an older person. Women seem to come off worse either way as the terms “cougar” and “gold digger” suggest. Only time will put doubts to rest, so it is best to concentrate on your relationship. Taking offense or trying to defend your partner will only exacerbate the problem. That being said, disapproval from family is a common reason age gap relationships do not last.
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